MM#134--SPECIAL--Happy Fathers Day

Welcome to the theory to action podcast, where we examine the timeless treasures of wisdom from the great books in less time to help you take action immediately, and ultimately to create and lead a flourishing life. Now, here's your host, David Kaiser.

Hello, I am David and Happy Father's Day. Today we celebrate all those hero dads out there. Yes, I said hero dads because that is what they are. If you are a father and you're doing the right thing, you're doing the good thing by being present to your children and family every day of the year than today is a great celebration for you. Way back in Mojo minute 58. We covered that real and most true epidemic that is harming the United States, which is father's lessness. Father lessness say that fast 25 times fatherlessness in America. It's a true in the real epidemic. And it's been happening all around us. Way back in 1965, my favorite Democrat, there are not many, but I do have a favorite Democrat Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who ultimately became the great Senator from the state of New York. Anyhow, back in 1965, he summarized in a now famous warning and a document. Let's go to this quote. From the wild Irish slums of the 19th century eastern seaboard to the riot torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in American history. A community that allows a large number of men to grow up in broken families, dominated by women, never acquiring any stable relationship to male authority, never acquiring any set of rational expectations about the future that community asks for, and gets chaos. Let me repeat it. From the wild Irish slums of the 19th century eastern seaboard to the riot torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in American history, a community that allows a large number of men to grow up in broken homes, dominated by women, and never acquiring any stable relationship to male authority, never acquiring any set of rational expectations about the future that community asks for, and gets chaos. 

And chaos is what we are seeing in 2022 all around us. So today, for the majority, the overwhelming majority of fathers out there doing the right thing, this day is a celebration for you. And in doing so, I'm going to share a great book I read some time ago titled hero being the strong father, your children need by Meg Meeker. And in the book Meeker ask a riveting question. Why are dads so important? But before we answer that question, let me share this quote from the book. Because ironically, Meg Meeker herself was a former feminist. You see in the book she confesses of her thoughts, while growing up in the sexual revolution of the 1960s. 

So let's go to the book. At the time, we weren't thinking of our future spouses or sons, or indeed even our daughters. We weren't thinking of how divorce and promiscuity and endless criticism of men, and a denial of their importance in the home would leave a lot of wreckage. After 30 years of working as a pediatrician, I can say without a doubt that the sexual revolution was a disaster for kids, with families far more fractured and fragile than they were before and with kids far more endangered physically, through an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases, and emotionally because of a breakdown of the nurturing bonds, kids need, unquote. And so, you can see from a former feminist herself, someone who believed in the cause, back in the day As you can see, that's a sexual revolution of the 1960s. And our American culture that has represented dads as being dumb and lazy and uneducated, that is all garbage. It's pure rubbish.

But let's go back to now that we've established that, let's go back to that super important question that Megan answers, why are dads so important? Let's go back to the book. I'll say it again, moms are absolutely necessary. But so our dads and two kids, it is dads who are the center of the family, mom might bend a sympathetic ear or a bandage on a scraped knee, but it is dad. But that is the only one they want to look up to as the hero who can meet any challenge thrown at the family. And guess what? You dads. You dads are wired to handle that pressure to meet those challenges to provide for and protect your family. Let's look at what happens to children when you bear that pressure for the family. Children with stable and involve fathers are actually have much higher levels of self control confidence and sociability. They're far less likely to engage in risky behaviors. As adolescents, they're far less likely to have behavioral or psychological problems, they're far less likely to be delinquent. This is especially true in low income families. They do better on the cognitive test and get better grades. They are more likely to become young adults with higher levels of economic and educational achievement, career success, occupational competency, and psychological well being. And study suggests that fathers who are involved nurturing and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities, end of quote. 

Not a bad start for why dads are super important. Just a number of reasons. And she touched on this, but even more so I think it's because dads are the leader of the family. They bring the vision and the clarity of what is right and what is wrong. Maker, Meeker, Meg Meeker the axe the author actually gives us a three point checklist for what she is calling hero dads. And this is what I want to share with you. This is what I want to share with all you fantastic fathers out there that are getting after it and maybe not having a pat on the back. So I hope this is encouraging. This is encouraging to you, men. Let's go to this three point checklist. Number one, be tough enough to bear the weight of family burdens. Don't let frustration by wives and children get you down. Many men feel this and thereby think you are not needed. The truth is you are necessary and in a big way. But often only a wise wife and mother will see this necessity. Be patient. Ask for God's grace and play the long game. Number two reduce friction. As leaders we are the problem solvers. Children and even your wife will look to you for the model of quiet strength, calm confidence and self control. When kids and teens have their temper tantrums, they are out of control and they know it and they know it is a weakness. They don't respect and don't want to see the same from you. You are the adult you are the leader. Number three act on your highest beliefs. Megger stresses this. She says quote, the overwhelming majority of fathers I have met want to do the right thing and in their hearts. They know what it is. So I tell them simply act on it. You have a vision of what a good father looks like. It might be your own dad. It might be a higher ideal if your dad wasn't present in your own life. Whatever that model is, keep it always in your mind and try to live up to that standard and have quote that is the standard. That is your standard. 

So in today's Special Mojo minute. For all you father's out there on Father's Day. Be that standard, be that hero dad's standard that makes me cry talks about AI and how I highly encourage you to get the book. It's a great, fantastic read.

The great author James Stetson says, in this quote, parents much must teach children, the invisible, this invisible thing we call character which resides in the mind, and the will, and the heart, and of quote. And finally, Meg Meeker tells us in the book and this will be our final quote. Being a hero to your kids is simple. It isn't easy, but it is simple. Live with courage. Take the heat and bear the burdens that come with leadership. Persevere, don't walk out. Be tenacious and love. speak kindly and wisely. Use your own father's example good or bad as a guide of things to do, or to avoid. Being a hero dad doesn't mean getting everything right. It means getting the big things right. Let me repeat that being a hero dad doesn't mean getting everything right. It means getting the big things, right. And a lot of that comes down to effort and commitment. If you read this book, you have the commitment. And I hope you have given sir, I have given you some useful pointers and tools. It's up to you to make the most of them. The game is on and you the hero dad now have to get back onto the field. I'm confident that you can win and have quote it means getting the big things. Right. So the game is on. And you he wrote that now have to get back on the field. And we are both Meg and I are both confident you can win. Very well said Dr. Meeker. Well said Indeed. 

So Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there doing the right thing. We appreciate you. We applaud you. High fives and knuckle bumps. Most especially want to give a quick shout out to my brother who is doing the right thing with his son and his daughter. And being the hero dad and living up to that standard. And most especially I want to give a shout out to my father, who I will see later today. High fives and knucklebones stad did a great job raising me at least I think so. And I love you pops.

Thank you for joining us. We hope you enjoyed this theory to action podcast. Be sure to check out our show page at T Mojo academy.com where we have everything we discussed in this podcast as well as other great resources. Until next time, keep getting your mojo on